Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Quick weight update

The Weight Watchers office was closed for Memorial Day, so I went in to do a weigh-in today during my lunch break. Here are the numbers:

Weight: 157 pounds
Pounds lost this week: -.2
Total pounds lost: 5 pounds (I got a blue star!)
Pounds to lose: 37 pounds

So I decided to change up my number above, because I thought it would serve my own needs better. And well, as for your needs as a reader......I'm not sure? Anyway, I took off the "weeks to go" part, because the truth is, I don't have a deadline for this weight loss. I just want it to happen. I think if I put it into those kinds of terms, I may not be as successful. That is what happened to me in the past. I tried to hard to make myself fit into a certain structure, and as soon as I was out of that, I would quit altogether. I also decided to add the pounds lost per week number because that helps me to see how I am doing from one week to another.

This week, for example, I only went down .2 pounds. That is the least amount of weight I have lost in a week so far. But I went into the weigh in thinking I may have gained, so I am going to proudly display that as a loss.

I have started to formulate ideas on when and why I eat, and one of them I think is triggered by loneliness. There are times when I was a kid (middle school in particular) that I got home from school and I was all alone at home for a few hours before my dad got home from work. Sometimes my sister was there, but many of the times she had plans with her friends or school activities to do. One of my pitfalls during that time is that I would just eat anything in the cupboard, without any regard for what dinner might be. I think it was to provide me some kind of comfort. Not only was I bored, but I think I was lonely sometimes.

This pattern has not stopped in adulthood. There are sometimes when I am home alone because Jennings is out of town, or gone to see some friends, or any number of things, and I end up falling into that same cycle. I want to eat. Not out of hunger, not even totally boredom (though it is a small part of it) but out of loneliness. At first I always tell myself that I will enjoy a little time to myself. But after a while, I realize that it did not live up to what I thought it would be.

So with all of that personal info out there, I guess I just want to say that this journey is becoming about more than just weight loss, it's about changing behaviors and improving relationships.

Have you ever thought about why you eat?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

How to go out of town and still lose weight!

Hi everyone,

I am back in town from the Hangout Fest in Gulf Shores. It was a really fun time. I got to see some of my family and some pretty great music. I got a tiny bit sunburned, but that is to be expected with my somewhat fair complexion.

Here is a picture my sister took from the weekend's festivities:

One of the challenges of this trip was trying to figure out how to not completely blow my Weight Watchers progress. So when we got to our beach house, we went to the grocery store and bought stuff to make breakfast, some healthy snacks like fruit and even some lunch items. The whole time we were there, I only had to eat two meals inside the fest. The rest of the time I ate at our beach house and made good choices. The craziest thing about it was it wasn't even that difficult! Imagine that.

We also walked quite a bit each day to get from our beach house to the fest and then back and forth across the beach for shows, so I racked up some healthy activity points. So with all of that, I am happy to report:

I lost 2.2. pounds! That's the most I've ever lost!

So for those of you keeping track, here are the numbers:

Weight: 157.2 pounds
Pounds lost: 4.8 pounds
Pounds to lose: 37.2 pounds
Weeks to go: 18 weeks

Yay! Anyways, hope everyone has a great week.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Embarrassing food story

Ok, so part of my current health status has to do with the fact that I suffer from some pretty serious food cravings and a pretty serious lack of control. When I was younger, I think most of this went unchecked because I was relatively active, etc. but now in my old age (late 20s, hahaha) it is all catching up with me.

So on this Weight Watchers journey, I have really been trying to teach myself about control. Since I know I have to track everything I eat, I have mostly avoided cravings out of the sheer humiliation factor of trying to figure out how many points are in a quarter pounder and fries from McDonald's. I have done relatively well. I have mostly made myself figure out hunger from boredom. But there are still those lingering cravings, and last night was one of them.

So I ended up spending most of the night at home alone because Diablo III came out so Jennings had gone to his friend's house to play it together. We had already eaten dinner and I had already used up my points for the day. All I had to do before bed was some laundry, so in between loads I watched TV. Bad idea. I really think a big factor in my cravings has to do with how many food commercials there are on late night TV. It also doesn't help that I watch shows like Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives and The Best Thing I Ever Ate. So there I am minding my own business and this voice in my head says, "You need tater tots." I tell myself, "That's ridiculous, you already ate for tonight, you're not hungry." But the voice persisted, "You need tater tots with CHILI and CHEESE on them." Ugh. I tried to reason with myself, I paced around the room, I even looked in every cabinet in my kitchen and in my fridge (as if I would magically have that somewhere). So for the better part of 2 hours I fought a mental battle with myself over CHILI CHEESE TOTS. And you know what?

I won.

All I ended up doing was eating a tablespoon of peanut butter. You know how many points that is? Only 3. Instead of the 9 point chili cheese tots that would only make me feel awful.

Yes, it's embarrassing, but I am counting this as a win.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Quick update

Just a quick post to keep track of my progress:

Weight: 159.4 pounds
Pounds lost: 2.6 pounds
Pounds to lose: 39.4 pounds
Weeks to go: 19 weeks

Yay for progress - even if it is small!

Also, later this week we are headed down to Hangout Fest and that is very exciting!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

On North Carolina and President Obama

This week in politics has, in many ways, been like non other in recent memories. For starters, North Carolina joined the party of every other Southern state that banned gay marriage. They went a little bit further than some of their Southern counterparts by also banning civil unions and any and all legal contract that could be construed as marriage. To add fuel to the fire, President Obama finally came out and said that he supports gay marriage. Not only did he say "I am not opposed" but he used the term affirm, which in my mind is a pretty strong endorsement that he felt this way for quite some time.

As per usual, al.com, our state's premier online news source (I say this with sarcasm, mostly), was flooded with bigoted and hateful comments about not only how people shouldn't vote for Obama in the fall because of his belief, but also some went so far as to even call the president a fag himself. If you spend even a millisecond scanning the rest of them someone brings up racism, slavery, reproductive rights, and a whole gamut of issues that will never be settled, especially on the pages of a message board.

What makes me especially angry is that so much effort has been thrown into this argument about the "sanctity of marriage," yet we have an incredibly high divorce rate. Furthermore, the group that talks about wanting to leave government out of our private lives is (in general) the same group of people who jump on the anti-gay marriage bandwagon. The last time I checked, the relationship you share with your partner is about the most private and personal relationship a person can have.

While I understand that states want to have say in the issue because "marriage" for them is for all intents and purposes a legal contract that provides them tax revenue as well as a guidelines for how to view property. But in all honest, why not support civil unions? What harm does it bring? A gay couple marrying has no effect on your own ability or desire to get married, be married, or stay married.

I really hope that I get to see the day when people in the LGBT community get what they deserve - equality. Because frankly, it's long overdue.


Also, I found this. It's a little sarcastic and has some language, but it makes a point....

Monday, May 7, 2012

One week down

So I have officially been doing Weight Watchers for one week. I am happy to report that I tracked my points each day, and I feel really good about sticking to the plan. I have my next weigh-in this evening, so I will update the post with my progress.

I have to say the biggest challenge so far has been deciphering what I thought was hunger from boredom. There were several points during the week (especially right after work or right before bed) where I was on the couch, and normally I would have gotten a snack because I thought I was hungry. But now, since I have to track everything that I eat, I really thought about it, and most of the time it wasn't hunger at all. It's strange how our minds can trick us into these things.

I also think another point that I am guilty of eating at is if I've had a bad day. In my mind, I rationalize the situation and say "I had a sucky day, I'm going to just eat this now because I deserve to." And that's not really how I should be thinking. I need to find other ways to cope with bad days. I also need to give myself some positive reinforcement. If I have a good day, or a good week, or reach a goal, why not reward myself in another way besides food? I will have to think about these things and how I can actually make them work, but I am optimistic.

The other thing to be excited about is that my spring semester is over, and I will have a one month break from school. I get really happy when summer comes in Tuscaloosa, because the city is actually nice to live in. With oh.... 25,000 +/- fewer people on the roads and crowding up every store, restaurant, and bar it's actually nice to be here. Don't get me wrong, those students help pay for my salary, but it's nice to have a little bit of a break!

Anyways, off to work for now and will update with my weight later!


Yay! I made progress!

Weight: 160 pounds
Pounds lost: 2 pounds
Pounds to lose: 40 pounds
Weeks to go: 20 weeks